Connecting over Christmas

​So it’s December, which means the countdown is on to Christmas! This may bring feelings of sheer excitement because it’s less than 25 days, or feeling overwhelmed with all that you have to fit in within less than a month!

While this time of the year is definitely a busy time, the opportunities to intentionally connect with your kids are many, which is something that kids especially are looking forward to. At kids church over the weekend when we were having a chat about Christmas and what everyone likes about Christmas the most, they all shared spending time with family! I was surprised, (but really shouldn’t have been), as was expecting to hear about gifts and time off school, but they were most looking forward to spending time with family! How cool! And as adults, that is something we also look forward to, sharing with and connecting with loved ones!


With all the busyness of the end of the year deadlines, sometimes it can be hard to know where to begin, and as our kids grow and change sometimes knowing how to spend time with them can be a challenge.


Here are some great suggestions (adapted from Parent Cue https://theparentcue.org/):

In the early pre school years, your kid is learning what they can do, whom they can trust, and exploring the depths of their emotions. Since kids this age value safety, your connection should be centered around helping them feel a sense of security. This holiday season, offer extra cuddles and attention. Read extra books during story time—don’t forget the characters’ voices!—or sing songs together. Affection and touch will go a long way toward connection this time of year. 


When your kid is in the primary school years, you can never give them too much attention—they crave it! The best way to connect with your kid in this phase is to offer your undivided attention as often as possible. So, whatever your kid is into right now, be all in on it with them—and you get bonus points if you do it while on their level. Take your kid out for a milkshake, just you and them, or stay up late and watch a holiday movie together. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure your attention is on your kid without distractions.


As your young person enters high school, there is one foot in childhood and the other is running straight into early adulthood. Your kid is fighting to discover their unique identity while battling some major emotions…which might mean they prefer to spend more time with someone who isn’t you. As much as this hurts to hear, It’s important you help your young person build relationships. This holiday season, that might look like planning an outing for your kid and a friend, or inviting that person over for baking Christmas treats and taking a backseat during their conversations. That isn’t to say your kid won’t value your time together—it’s just important you listen more than you speak and follow their lead on how they want to spend the holidays.

As your young person continues in high school, they are fighting to find their place in the world while also facing huge transitions as they become one step closer to being on their own. While communicating with your young person during this phase may be difficult, traditions can go a long way to helping your young person know they have a place to belong and feel connected with you. This year, lean into all the holiday traditions that make this time of year fun for your family, whether it’s dressing up in matching PJ’s, watching a favourite movie or baking treats together to share. Be open to listening to your young person about some traditions they may want to adopt as their own. Just make sure your young person knows they have a place at home. 

Time is precious, and spending quality moments together is what will make your family strong. These moments together will also be something that your young person looks forward to, not only creating fond memories to look back on, but building resiliency and strength for today.

Take the time this Christmas to spend time together!

Jared Kealley
Next Gen Pastor 
Lesmurdie Baptist Church